![]() Never thought the day would come.” - Clark Griswold “I just can’t believe you’re actually standing here in my living room, Eddie. “The little lights are not twinkling.” - Art Snots, you roll over and let Uncle Clark scratch your belly.” - Cousin Eddie Johnson We named him that because he’s got this sinus condition. "Grandma Nora has a painful burr on my heel and if you rub it for me, I'll give you a whole quarter!" - Nora You don’t gotta put on your coat to go to the bathroom, and your house is always parked in the same place!" - Ruby Sue “Well, I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” - Ellen Griswold "Save the neck for me, Clark!" - Cousin Eddie "I got hemorrhoids, can you believe it?" - Francis “We’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.” - Clark Griswold “This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.” - Clark Griswold “If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ‘em all.” - Cousin Eddie "We’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas." - Clark Griswold "And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?" - Margo He’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” - Cousin Eddie “Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere, leave you for dead? – Clark Griswold “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” - Uncle Lewis Just a real nice surprise." - Cousin Eddie “You want to hurry this up, Clark? I’m freezing my baguettes off.” - Art "It's a beaut, Clark, it's a beaut!" - Clark Griswold Sr. "This isn't charity it's family." - Clark Griswold "Honey, do you honestly think I would check thousands of tiny little lights if I wasn't sure the extension cord was plugged in?" - Clark Griswold the Griswold family Christmas tree." - Clark Griswold "Clark, we're stuck under a truck!" - Ellen Griswold I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car.” - Rusty Griswold "Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!" - Clark Griswold “Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am right now.” - Clark Griswold “Clark, stop it! I don’t want to spend the holidays dead!” - Ellen Griswold We’re all in this together.” - Clark Griswold Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. ![]() “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. “I dedicate this house to the Griswold Family Christmas.” - Clark Griswold Just in time for the holidays, we collected the very best "Christmas Vacation" quotes that'll have you ho-ho-ho-ing right into New Year's. Or how about when Cousin Eddie shows up unannounced with the entire family and dog "Snots" in tow, then drains his RV's septic tank into Clark's sewer? No spoilers here, but the end result, is, well, a total gas. ![]() Who can't relate to Clark struggling to get the Christmas lights to work, then kicking down all the reindeer when they don't? (A bit of Christmas trivia: Chase broke his finger while filming that iconic scene.)
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